Chaos, Upsets, and a Crowded Race: Ranking All 136 College Football Teams After Week 13

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Chaos, Upsets, and a Crowded Race: Ranking All 136 College Football Teams After Week 13

College football rankings Week 13 - chaotic stadium energy with 136 team logos Week 13 didn’t just shake up the playoffs—it turned the entire FBS into a 136-team thunderstorm. Who’s left standing?

Picture this: It’s 11:30 PM on a Saturday night, and your phone is blowing up. Not because of your social life (let’s be honest), but because Oregon just lost to Oregon State. Again. Meanwhile, in Tuscaloosa, a two-loss Alabama team is suddenly begging for playoff mercy, Louisiana’s Ragin’ Cajuns are quietly feasting on Sun Belt foes, and somewhere in the MAC, a 7-5 team is celebrating like they just won the lottery. Week 13 of college football wasn’t just dramatic—it was a full-blown identity crisis for 136 teams.

If the College Football Playoff committee’s job was easy before, it’s now impossible. The contenders? Crowded. The pretenders? Exposed. The mid-majors? Hungry. So let’s do what the committee won’t: Rank all 136 FBS teams—from the playoff locks to the teams already Googling “transfer portal rules.” Buckle up. This isn’t just a ranking; it’s a survival guide.

The Week That Broke the Algorithm

Every year, Week 13 is supposed to be the “clarity” week. The cream rises. The chaff falls. The computers spit out neat little rankings, and we all pretend to understand how “game control” works. Not this year. This was the week the algorithm short-circuited.

🔥 The Upsets That Rewrote the Script

  • Oregon’s Autopilot Crash: The Ducks were cruising toward a playoff spot—until they weren’t. Oregon State’s 38-34 win didn’t just knock Oregon out of contention; it turned the Pac-12 into a three-team cannibalization fest (hi, Washington and Arizona).
  • Alabama’s “Respect Our Two Losses” Tour: The Tide beat Auburn, but their “best two-loss team ever” argument is wearing thin. Meanwhile, Texas and Georgia are laughing. From behind their undefeated records.
  • Louisville’s ACC Heist: The Cardinals’ 38-31 win over Miami didn’t just clinch the ACC Coastal—it proved that chaos is the only constant in 2023.
  • Coastal Carolina’s Sun Belt Swansong: The Chanticleers, once the darlings of the Group of Five, are now 6-6 and clinging to bowl eligibility. Welcome to the transfer portal, fellas.

📊 Why This Matters Beyond the Playoff

You might think, “Who cares about teams 20-136?” Oh, you sweet summer child. Here’s the deal:

  • Bowl Eligibility Madness: With 85 teams already bowl-eligible (and more to come), we’re heading for a record number of 6-6 teams in bowls. That’s right—your favorite .500 squad might be playing in the Radiance Technologies Independence Bowl. Merry Christmas.
  • The Transfer Portal Tsunami: For teams like Arizona State (3-9) or Stanford (3-9), Week 13 was the final nail. Their rosters will look very different by spring.
  • Coaching Carousel Fuel: Every loss = another coach on the hot seat. Looking at you, Nebraska.

How We Ranked All 136 Teams (Without Losing Our Minds)

Ranking every FBS team is like judging a chili cook-off where half the entries are actually just ketchup. But we did it anyway. Here’s the methodology:

📈 The Ranking Formula (No, We Didn’t Just Use ESP)

  1. Resumé Over Reputation: Alabama’s brand won’t save them. We weighed who you beat over who you’re supposed to be.
  2. Eye Test Adjustments: Yes, stats matter, but if your team looks like they’re playing in quicksand (hi, Wisconsin), we noticed.
  3. Injury Context: Losing your QB? That’s a one-spot grace drop. Losing your QB and your dignity? That’s a freefall.
  4. Chaos Bonus: Beat a top-10 team? You get a chaos bump. Lose to a 2-9 team? You get a shame spiral.

⚠️ The Unwritten Rules

Some truths are self-evident:

  • If you lost to New Mexico State, you’re automatically in the bottom 20. No exceptions.
  • If you’re Ohio State and you still can’t beat Michigan, you don’t get to complain about the playoff.
  • If you’re a Group of Five team with one loss, you’re probably ranked higher than a 3-loss Power Five team. Deal with it.

The Full 136: Who’s In, Who’s Out, and Who’s Just Happy to Be Here

Drumroll, please. Here’s the definitive (and definitely controversial) ranking of every FBS team after Week 13. We’ve broken it into tiers because ain’t nobody got time to scroll through 136 individual blurbs.

🏆 Tier 1: Playoff Locks & Near-Locks (Teams 1-6)

These teams control their own destiny—or at least a really nice New Year’s Six bowl.

  1. Georgia (12-0) – The bulldozer rolls on. Next stop: SEC Championship vs. Alabama (again).
  2. Michigan (12-0) – Jim Harbaugh’s revenge tour is complete. Now, can they finally beat Ohio State and win a playoff game?
  3. Washington (12-0) – The last undefeated Pac-12 team standing. Enjoy it while it lasts.
  4. Florida State (12-0) – ACC champs by default. Their strength of schedule is questionable, but 12-0 is 12-0.
  5. Texas (11-1) – The Longhorns are back—until they’re not. Ask us again after the Big 12 title game.
  6. Alabama (11-1) – The “best two-loss team” argument is alive but on life support.

🔥 Tier 2: NY6 Hopefuls & Chaos Agents (Teams 7-20)

These teams are either one win away from glory or one loss away from irrelevance.

  • Oregon (11-1) – Still elite, but their playoff hopes are Oregon State-shaped.
  • Ohio State (11-1) – Against The Spread (ATS) darlings, but can’t beat That Team Up North.
  • Penn State (10-2) – The “what if we’d beaten Michigan?” fanbase is insufferable.
  • Louisville (10-2) – ACC Coastal champs by sheer force of chaos.
  • Ole Miss (10-2) – Lane Kiffin’s “we’re not Alabama” energy is peaking.
  • Missouri (10-2) – The SEC’s most pleasant surprise.
  • Oklahoma (10-2) – Brent Venables has actually fixed the defense. Check the calendar—hell hasn’t frozen over.

… and 13 more teams that are either overrated or criminally underrated.

🎢 Tier 3: Bowl-Eligible Wildcards (Teams 21-85)

This is where it gets messy. These teams are:

  • Happy to be bowling (see: Duke, 7-5).
  • Pretending they’re better than they are (see: NC State, 8-4).
  • Quietly dangerous (see: Tulane, 11-1 and somehow still disrespected).
  • Already mentally in the transfer portal (see: Colorado, 4-8 but “we beat TCU that one time!”).

Hot take: James Madison (11-1) and Tulane (11-1) would beat at least half of the Power Five teams in this tier. Fight me.

💀 Tier 4: The “We’ll Be Back (Maybe)” Tier (Teams 86-120)

These teams are:

  • Rebuilding (see: Nebraska, 5-7 but “wait till next year!”).
  • In full “burn it down” mode (see: Stanford, 3-9 and staring into the void).
  • Just happy they beat their rival (see: Virginia, 3-9 but “we own Virginia Tech!”).

🚨 Tier 5: The Transfer Portal All-Stars (Teams 121-136)

Bless their hearts. These teams are:

  • San José State (3-9) – The “we used to be good in 2020” award winners.
  • New Mexico (3-9) – Lost to New Mexico State. That’s the tweet.
  • Hawai’i (3-10) – The “our home games start at 11 PM ET” penalty is real.
  • Stanford (3-9) – The “we’re too smart for this” trophy goes to…
  • Vanderbilt (2-10) – The SEC’s punching bag since forever.

Full 136-team rankings available in our downloadable spreadsheet (because your boss will definitely understand why you’re analyzing UTEP’s strength of schedule at work).

What Week 14 Will Break (And Who Benefits)

Think the chaos is over? Oh, you sweet, naive soul. Championship Week is here, and it’s bringing:

🎯 The Games That Will Decide Everything

  • SEC Championship: Georgia vs. Alabama – If Bama wins, the “two-loss team in the playoff” debate will end civilization.
  • Big Ten Championship: Michigan vs. Iowa – Iowa’s defense is scary, but Michigan’s vengeance is scarier.
  • Pac-12 Championship: Washington vs. Oregon – The “last ever Pac-12 title game” hype is real. Also, chaos fuel.
  • ACC Championship: Florida State vs. Louisville – FSU’s “undefeated but weak schedule” narrative meets Louisville’s “we thrive in chaos” energy.

💥 The Ripple Effects

Win or lose, these outcomes will:

  • Send at least two Power Five coaches to the unemployment line.
  • Make the Group of Five’s NY6 hopes even more complicated.
  • Give us another week of “College Football Playoff expansion can’t come soon enough” takes.

Your Week 14 Watch Guide: How to Enjoy the Chaos

You’ve got one more week to soak in the madness before bowl season’s “why is this 5-7 team playing in the Bahamas?” energy kicks in. Here’s how to maximize it:

📺 The Must-Watch Games (Ranked by Chaos Potential)

  1. Georgia vs. Alabama (SEC Championship) – “Saban vs. Smart, Part Infinity.” Popcorn required.
  2. Washington vs. Oregon (Pac-12 Championship) – “The last hurrah for the Pac-12 as we know it.” Kleenex optional.
  3. Michigan vs. Iowa (Big Ten Championship) – “Can Iowa’s defense stop Michigan’s anger?” Spoiler: Probably not.
  4. SMU vs. Tulane (AAC Championship) – “The Group of Five’s NY6 audition.” Underrated banger alert.

🍿 The Undercard Gems

Need a palate cleanser between title games? Try these:

  • UAB vs. Florida Atlantic (C-USA Championship) – “Wait, UAB still has a team?” Yes. And it’s weirdly fun.
  • Boise State vs. UNLV (Mountain West Championship) – “The Smurf Turf never disappoints.”

🎲 The Degenerate’s Parlay of the Week

For entertainment purposes only (wink), consider this +1000 odds monstrosity:

  • Alabama (+6.5) covers vs. Georgia
  • Oregon-Washington over 65.5
  • Iowa under 17.5 team points vs. Michigan
  • Tulane wins outright vs. SMU

Disclaimer: If this hits, you owe us a beer. If it doesn’t, we never suggested it.

The Beautiful, Infuriating Mess That Is College Football

Here’s the truth: No one knows anything. Georgia could lose. Michigan could finally exorcise its Ohio State demons. A 3-star recruit you’ve never heard of could become a household name by Saturday night. That’s why we love this sport—because it’s the only one where 136 teams can make us feel everything in a single weekend.

So as we head into Championship Week, embrace the chaos. Argue with your friends. Yell at the TV. Bet on weird prop bets you don’t understand. Because in a week, we’ll all be debating whether a 7-5 team deserves a bowl bid, and you’ll miss the madness.

Now go enjoy the ride. And when it’s over? We’ll be here to rank the fallout.

🔥 Don’t Miss a Snap

Want real-time reactions, live ranking updates, and hot takes that’ll get you blocked by rival fans? Follow us on Twitter and join our Discord—where the chaos never sleeps.

And if you really love pain, download our full 136-team rankings spreadsheet and argue with us in the comments. We dare you.

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Kebun Firdaus

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